Taking me home
Welcome to my
Quotes page_________________
Quote of the day:
"To err is human..to blame it on a computer, is more
so." - Robert Orben
One Liners &
Bumper Stickers_
Warning - dates in a Calendar are closer than they appear.
Marriage is not a word - it is a sentence.
Eat right, exercise daily, live clean, - die anyway!
Half of the population in the world is below average.
Kill them all - let God sort them out.
Life without danger is a waste of oxygen.
Love is blind, marriage is the eye opener.
So many lawyers - so few bullets.
Never hit a man with glasses - use your fist!
Take my advice, I don't use it anyway.
Socialism is the equal distribution of poverty.
The rich get richer, the poor get babies.
The young know the rules, .
the old know the exceptions.
Life in a vacuum, sucks!
.
First, let us start with Confucious. Confucious say:
"Man with one chopstick go hungry.".
"Man who sleep on railroad tracks wake up with split personality."
"Naked man fears no pick pocket."
"Man who run in front of car, get tired."
"Bacteria..only culture some people have."
"He who have last laugh, not get joke."
"Man who sit on tack, get point."
"Bird in hand, make difficult to blow nose."
"Man who eat too many prunes, get good run for money."
"Man who leap off cliff, jump to conclusion".
"Man who throw dirt, losing ground."
"Nail on board not as good as screw on bench."
"Man with big mouth, beware of foot."
"Man who lay girl on hill not on level'"
"Man with tight trousers, pressing his luck."
"Boy who go to bed with sex problem, wake up with solution in hand."
"Foolish man give wife grand piano. Wise man give wife upright organ."
"Crowded elevator smell different to midget."
"Man who marries a girl with no bust, has right to feel low down."
"Girl who sit on judge's lap get honourable discharge."
"Man who fight with wife all day, get no piece at night."
"War doesn't determine who's right. War determines who's left."
"Woman who spends much time on bedspring, may have offspring."
"Man who have hand in pocket feel cocky all day."
Oh well, enough of that - we all know about that dude Confucious.
How about some other great minds?
Quotes from Bill Gates: "In this business, by the time you realize you are in trouble, it is too late to save yourself. Unless you're running scared all the time, you're gone." "You often have to rely on intuition."
BILL GATES RULES. - In a speech given to High School Graduates: Bill Gates lists 11 things they did not learn in school..
Rule #1 - Life is not fair, get used to it.
Rule #2 - The world will not care about your self-esteem, The world will expect you to accomplish something BEFORE you feel good about yourself.
Rule #3 - You will not make $40 thousand a year right out of high school. You won't be a vice-president with a car phone until you earn both.
Rule #4 - If you think your teacher is tough, wait until you meet your boss, he doesn't have tenure.
Rule #5 - Flipping burgers is not beneath your dignity. Your grand-parents had a different word for burger-flipping, they called it opportunity.
Rule #6 - If you mess up, it's not your parents fault so don't whine about your mistakes, learn from them.
Rule #7 - Before you were born, your parents weren't as boring as they are now. They got that way from paying your bills, cleaning your clothes and listening to you talk about how cool you are. So before you save the rainforest from the parasites of your parents' generation, try delousing the closet in your own room.
Rule #8 - Your school may have done away with winners and losers, but life has not. In some schools they have abolished failing grades and will give you as much time as you want to get the answer right. .This doesn't bear the slightest resemblance to ANYTHING in real life.
Rule #9 - Life is not divided into semesters, you don't get summers off and your employer is not interested in helping you find yourself.. You have to do this on your own time.
Rule #10 - Television is NOT real life. In real life people actually have to leave the coffee shop and go to jobs.
Rule #11 - Be nice to Nerds, chances are you will end up working for one.
Words of wisdom from one who knows!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Courtesy of Eileen Means!
Home is where you hang your @.
He that would live in peace and at ease, must not speak all he knows, nor judge all he sees.
Poor Richard's Almanac
TRUISMS: submitted by Donald King:
A good time to keep your mouth shut is when you're in deep water.
Anyone who thinks old age is golden must not have had a very exciting youth.
How come it takes so little time for a child who is afraid of the dark to become a teenager who wants to stay out all night?
Business conventions are important because they demonstrate how many people a company can operate without.
Why is it that at class reunions you feel younger than everyone else looks?
Scratch a dog and you'll find a permanent job.
No one has more driving ambition than the boy who wants to buy a car.
There are no new sins....the old ones just get more publicity.
There are worse things than getting a call for a wrong number at 4AM. It could be a right number.
Think about this..... No one ever says "It's only a game" when their team is winning.
How come we choose from just two people for president and 50 for Miss America?
Money will buy a fine dog, but only kindness will make him wag his tail.
Learn from the mistakes of others. You won't live long enough to make them all yourself.
One of the quickest ways for a young man to fail in life is to work so hard the boss will think he's after his job.
A backyard barbecue draws two things....flies and relatives.
The nicest thing about the future is that it always starts tomorrow.
If you don't have a sense of humor, you probably don't have any sense at all.
Seat belts are not as confining as wheelchairs.
I've reached the age where the 'Happy Hour' is a nap
